Am I Worth It?
by HeroUp88
Summary: It's time for them to face the music. No more running. No more games. Do you love me? Am I worth it? Plain and simple. One-shot.


**I don't own Justice League or any related characters. All rights are reserved by DC.**

 **Read. Review. Enjoy.**

I woke up this morning in a better mood than I had been in days. This last case has been running everyone ragged, and my patience is running on reserves. Vandal Savage continues to elude us, and we still only have a vague idea of what he plans to do with all his political galavanting and backhanded international crimes. But last night had been especially fortuitous. In more ways than one.

We had been tipped that Savage would be in Bialya for business reasons. The cover was he was meeting with the Prime Minister at the World Trade Ball to discuss alliances with neighboring powers. Batman and I had been sent undercover, he with Wayne Enterprises and me as an Amazonian ambassador, to follow him and gather as much information as we could.

While Savage had indeed met with the Prime Minister, we had stuck around after hours to see what else we could find, something more illegal. We had to be cautious. He had been suspicious of us, especially me, at the ball.

After several hours of no activity, our luck changed. An unknown point of contact for one of the crimes had walked in to where we had tracked Savage. My Kasnian was rusty, but I was able to make out that Savage had indeed been behind the Kasnian massacre last week, and, from the sound of the conversation, he had planned on hitting Bialya soon.

We followed the POC from his meeting to a shady part of town in hopes of finding more. We hadn't followed him far before we were ambushed. Savage had us setup. He must have known we were onto him the whole night.

About thirty guards had shown up. Really it was no match, after all the reconnaissance, I had been itching to get into a fight. The dust settled and the POC was the last man standing. Knowing he stood no chance, he ran inside an abandoned warehouse before we finally had him. Even after we cornered him, he refused to talk, more scared of Savage than of us.

The warehouse we were in was full of knobs and switches, and the dark lighting didn't allow for many to be seen. One of the mechanisms was hidden to us in the wall near our target. While we tried to haggle the truth out of him, he had pulled the lever and a crane that had been held somewhere above our heads began hurtling toward us. The coward started to run. I flew Batman out the way, but it was the blinding powder I wasn't ready for. I had been so concentrated on making sure Batman was okay, I had let my guard down. The POC had thrown it right at me while I had been distracted to solidify his escape.

I couldn't see the crane fly back before it knocked me through the air. Then came the nerve gas to ensure we didn't follow. Needless to say, he got away. It irks me to no end that he escaped the two of us. And while I am upset that he got away, it's what transpired after that still has me on a high.

We transported back to the Watchtower. Batman hadn't said much since the ambush, just instructions to help ease the pain. Not that I could hear much over my violent coughing and wheezing for air even with the air filter he had strapped over my mouth. My chest was tight. I was sweating a storm. I could feel an extreme case of vertigo. I couldn't see anything, and it was only made worse by the blinding powder.

He led me to a bathroom and helped me wash my eyes out. I clutched the counter top with all my strength to keep from toppling over. Behind me, I could hear rustling and water running in the background, but the pain through my body was forcing me to focus on just rinsing my eyes. When he returned to check on me, I could hear the urgency in his voice.

"What can you see?"

I blinked my eyes a few times before answering. "Just shapes. No colors or lines, just blurry shapes."

He grunted. He was about to say something when the coughing and wheezing returned with a vengeance. He applied an oxygen mask over my face and told me to breathe deep. It took me a few tries to grab hold of the breathing device, my muscles refusing to respond like they should. When I finally grabbed it, I held on for dear life, deeply inhaling the oxygen from the clutched mask as he led me further into the bathroom.

"You're going to need to decontaminate, which means you're going to have to take off your uniform."

I was in no shape to argue, but even in my impuissant state, I could feel the heat between us in the way he helped to undress me. When we finished, I wasn't completely nude. I still wore my undergarments, and like the gentleman he is, he hadn't tried to push me further to take them off. He helped me into the shower, holding my hand tightly, guiding me carefully. The water pressure was high as I felt it run down my hair onto my back. The pain still wracked my body, stealing any comfort I had tried to find.

A spell of nausea hit me in the midst of the shower, discombobulating me. I felt hurriedly for the wall in an attempt to stay upright, but my feet betray me. I brace myself for some sort of impact, when I feel Bruce grab me. He steadies me against his shoulder, allowing me to use him as a balance. I feel my face turn red with embarrassment, but I'm glad it's him here and no one else.

I don't know how long I was in there. My perception of time was warped by my constant discomfort. My mind races back and forth restlessly looking for something to distract from the current circumstances. I only know it's time to get out when Bruce turns the water off. He grabbed my arm to help me carefully out of the shower. He hands me a towel and tells me he's off to bring me clothes and would be back. I watch him leave, the contrast of light and dark telling me the door has opened and closed back, leaving me alone.

I began drying myself when the dizziness started. I start to panic and urgently feel my way to the edge of the tub. His strong arms startle me, surrounding me, as he steadied my frantic searching. I feel his warm breath on my back, sending a tingling through my body.

He handed me the clothes and stayed close as I put them on. When I was finished, he led me to the bed and handed me the oxygen mask. The tightness in my chest had subsided some, but it was still hard to breathe and slightly difficult to hold the mask as my body twitched outside of my control.

I took in the air greedily, and gradually my breath started to return to normal. I could feel his eyes on me even if I couldn't see them. There was a lot of unspoken words hanging in the air, emotions too. I, for one, was a little frustrated at my performance. And Bruce, being the perfectionist he is, probably was too.

When I had gotten a good handle on my breathing, I figured I'd break the tension.

"So, are you going to lect-"

His mouth stole the words from mine as he enveloped me in a kiss. His urgency for me to be okay and all the emotions that came with it were in that kiss. I wanted it to keep going, but my lungs weren't nearly at full capacity yet. I had to break away, a short coughing fit coming on after.

"Don't scare me like that." Relief laced his words.

"I'm sorry," I force out between coughs.

When the coughing settled down, I finally ask, "He got away, didn't he?" I already know the answer, and I'm ready to berate myself for letting him slip through my fingers.

"He did, but you managed to grab his mask in your frenzy. I saw his face and will run it through a scan via the camera in my cowl. But you shouldn't worry about that now."

The bed sinks a little lower as he comes to sit next to me.

"I must look worse than I feel," I shift timidly.

"You can never look bad."

I could feel myself blush. I really wished I could have seen his face; those blue eyes that seemed to make everything better.

"I want to check your eyes."

I nod, but put my hand up to stop him before he starts, realization resting on me. His image isn't clear, nothing was at that point, but I can tell he's not in his dark costume. The tone of his skin is much lighter than the grays and blacks of his suit. I had to check if my suspicions were true.

"You're not wearing your uniform?"

"I didn't want to take any chances. I decontaminated too. Open your eyes wide."

A smile forms on my face as he shines the light in my eyes.

"So that was you, sans-clothes, with the shower water running while I was rinsing my eyes?"

"Don't read too much into it. It's not like you could see me."

"Too bad."

"Yeah." He pauses and turns the lights off before continuing. "With your meta healing, you should be fine in the morning. Thankfully, you weren't exposed long. But any time of exposure causes symptoms."

I hear him put his things away and he helps me into bed. I expect him to leave afterwards, but I never hear the door open. The bed sinks again as I feel his body slip next to mine.

I turn to face him, I'm sure a confused expression was on my face. "What are you doing?"

"Observing you to make sure there are no unforeseen complications throughout the night. You don't mind do you?"

I smile, and he leans in to kiss me on my forehead. I hold his cheek in my hand.

"I wish I could see your face."

"Just know, it'll always be here for you."

I turn over contented, feeling somewhat safer sleeping next to him.

I know at some point last night I had started convulsing, more side effects from the gas. The moment he pulled me closer to him, I could feel my muscles relax. The night was miserable, but I was glad he was there, my knight, to help me through it.

* * *

He had been right as he usually is. The majority of the symptoms had passed by the time I had woken up today. I notice that the bed is empty, but I refuse to let it kill my mood. I put my uniform on and head out in search of the missing occupant.

I search his usual spots, the commissary, the Monitor Womb, the conference room, but find nothing. On my way to his quarters, a last resort, I run into Question. I guess he notices my expression.

"Looking for someone?"

"Question, have you seen Batman? I wanted to debrief with him about last night."

"I just left him in the lab. I told him I would go over his notes, see what else I could find."

"Thanks," I say politely, and we part ways. Question has always been odd to me. The fact that he doesn't have a face is off-putting. He is quite perceptive, however. I would even say just as much as Batman. But he still struck me as strange. Nevertheless, I trust Batman's judgement. If he trusts him with this case, then who was I to question that.

I find my query right where Question said he was. I enter and the door slides close behind me.

"Wonder Woman."

"Batman." He's focused on the monitor. A picture of a dark-haired man looking to be in his late-twenties is on the screen.

I stride over to him and glance at it.

"Is that the point of contact from last night?" I ask him.

"Yes. From what I've gathered so far, his name is Maleq Abdul Goyal. Kasnian. A member of the royal court."

"The royal court? He's related to the royal family?"

"No, but he might as well be. Goyal is a highly respected advisor. He was a friend of the king long before he even became king."

"Why would an aristocrat betray his country like that? Or even worse, his friend?"

"I don't know. I believe Savage has something on him. I'm having Question look into Savage's connections to Kasnia. After the mishap with Audrey, he was exiled. If anyone can find out how he has reentered the first family's good graces, its Question."

I nod. He continues to stare at the monitor when I hear him sigh.

He acknowledges me again. "Your sight is back. Is everything else under control?"

"Yes. I'm not at one hundred percent yet, but I think I can manage."

It's his turn to nod and the awkward silence refills the space between us. My stomach is twisting in knots as I weigh the question I want on my tongue. I rock back and forth from the balls of my feet to my heels.

I finally make in my mind to just go for it.

"I know we still need to debrief and go over what we learned last night. I was thinking maybe we could meet about it over… dinner?" It comes out as a question instead of a definitive statement. At the last second I started to lose my nerve making me a little less confident in myself. I don't know why I get so flustered around him. It serves to both excite and frustrate me.

He sits back in his seat a little, hesitating before he answers.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

I slowly release the breath I had been holding in. I sincerely hope he's not doing it again. I brace myself and try again.

"Maybe for lunch then? We both have to eat, and I know that last night we didn't get to talk much."

"Last night shouldn't have happened."

I try to calm myself down. He _was_ doing it again, shutting me out.

"Why not?" I ask, exasperated.

"You only got hurt because you were saving me. I don't want you to compromise the mission for me. It's more important."

I tap my foot quickly. I'm doing my best to hold in my anger with him. But he is the only one I know who can get me so riled up. Every time I get an inch, he sends me back a mile.

"If I find anything else, I will let you know," he finishes.

I punch the wall, leaving a dent. Now he turns to face me.

"You have got to be the most selfish man I have ever met." He eyes the dent in the wall, but I don't care right now. "You think you're something special? That if I had been paired with Vigilante or Huntress, Supergirl or Steel, or any other teammate I wouldn't save them? I was your partner. That's what I'm supposed to do!"

"I can't have you worried about me when we're on a mission," he fires back.

"It's too late for that. Regardless if we pursue this or not, I'm going to be worried about you. And I know you worry about me. I always catch you focusing in on me while the mission is going on."

He turns the chair to face me. "Diana, you know we can't do this. Dating on the team always leads to disaster."

"John and Shayera made it work."

"And look how they turned out."

"That had nothing to do with their love for each other. And if she hadn't loved him, there was no way we would have beat the Thanagarians."

He turns his chair back to the screen, shaking his head.

"Diana, last night was a mistake."

I refuse to take this lying down. "And what made it a mistake? Was it because you actually showed me your feelings?"

"Diana." His tone is in warning.

I press on. He's already pressed me to my wit's end. Why can't I press him? "Or is it some other convoluted excuse? We'll always be worried about each other. Dating always leads to disaster. You have issues. Your too dark to allow love in. Tim has homework. Alfred's not making lasagna. There will always be an excuse with you. So tell me what is it this time?"

He slams his hands on the keyboard, semi-standing from his seat. "Because neither one of us is ready for the consequences of stepping into this!"

"Consequences?! Since when has caring for someone been a bad thing?"

He sits back down, the anger protruding from him.

"I'm not having this discussion. We need to focus on this case. Unless you want to talk about that, I have nothing else to say."

I take a deep breath. My heart is still in flames, but I reign in my emotions.

"You know what Bruce, I've had it. I'm tired of running in circles. If you don't love me, then just say it now."

He doesn't do or say anything. I suppose that means there's still hope, but that doesn't keep me from being deeply hurt on the inside.

"If you won't say it then I will. I love you, Bruce Wayne. Hera, I love you. But I can't keep doing this. Year after year, I have been patiently waiting for you. Waiting on you to let down your walls just enough for me to get a glimpse of the real you. And occasionally, you let me. Like last night. You let your guard down and I let mine down, and I think to myself, this is it. This is the time you finally let me in to experience what we could be. You open the door of your heart. And it's open just enough so when you slam it in my face the next day it hurts that much more. I guess I shouldn't be surprised at this point. Insanity I think is what they call it; doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

"For the past three years all I've asked of you, all I've ever wanted from you, was for you to own up to your feelings. To admit what everyone else already knows you're feeling. And it's not that you can't or that you don't have any feelings, because I've seen it in portions. But you don't want to do that. And I don't know when you'll be ready to. You know that I'm not a patient person, and I can't handle the uncertainty of waiting around until you decide that you're willing to accept the 'consequences' of stepping into this."

He still silent, his back to me. I swallow hard and force out the next words.

"No matter how much I hate it to end this way, I respect your wishes. If all you want from me is camaraderie, then it's yours."

Now he glances at me, but I refuse to meet his look. It looks like he wants to respond, but he doesn't say anything.

"Let's just wrap this case up. If you find something else, just let me know."

I walk out the room, leaving him to his work.

* * *

My vision gets blurry not from lasting effects of the gas, but from the tears threatening to fall. I refuse to cry over this even if my heart is heavy. I want him in my life so badly, but I can't force him to do something like this, even if it is something he clearly wants.

I type in the code for my room and the door slides open. When I flick the lights on, he's standing there, mask off looking out the window. He turns to me as I step in. His hands are behind his back, but I catch them shaking before he faces me.

"What are you doing? How did you-"

"You didn't give me a chance to defend myself."

I find my hands are shaking too, but I can't tell if the emotion is anger or nervousness for what he has to say.

His eyes are pleading with me. I can't look him in the face if I want to keep my resolve. I cock my head to the side, cross my arms and tap my foot impatiently.

"What?" It comes out harsh.

He takes in a deep breath, his face uncertain. I know whatever he's going to say is difficult for him and has probably been on his mind a while, making me regret my tone a little.

"You scare me."

My face jumps with shock. My features soften in response.

"I scare you?"

He nods his head in confirmation. "The possibility of being with you is something I've wanted from the moment I met you. But I've been selfishly, stupidly terrified of you, of loving you, from the beginning.

"When you first came and helped with the alien invasion, I was captivated immediately by your radiance, your absolute beauty. I mean, any man with eyes can see that. I felt something that day, something I hadn't felt in a long time. And the possibility that my heart had found love, horrified me. I've been afraid of love for a long time because when _I_ love someone, they usually aren't around long. So I chalked it up to infatuation, believing it was some stupid boyish crush that would pass. But you stuck around, and it didn't pass.

He's nervously pacing back in forth in front of me.

"Once you joined the team and we were able to work together, I saw that the outward beauty was just a reflection of what was inside: a gorgeous, stunning, beautiful woman." I see his eyes light up, as he takes a reverent breath between each adjective. A small smile comes to his lips. My stomach leaps that I'm able to bring about this happiness in him.

"And that emotion that I had felt when you first made your presence known, I was feeling again. And there was no ignoring it this time. It was love. And the terror returned too.

"After my mind had wrapped around the fact that this emotion wasn't going anywhere, it started to conjure up selfish excuses for why this, why _we_ could never be.

He snickered to himself. "I told myself that I was protecting my heart from something worse down the line.

"First I thought love made me weak. That if I were to love someone else, I couldn't be the dark, brooding hero I proclaim to be. Love would make me a soft pushover. Then, in a way that only you can, you showed me how wrong I was. Before you were exiled and you stopped Faust, I saw one of the strongest people I had ever met. And that strength was fueled by passion, by love. A love for your mother, a love for your sisters pushed you to save them no matter the consequences."

He starts speaking faster. It's like his lips can't move fast enough to fully convey what his mind has been brewing for so long.

"So I had to find another excuse then. I told myself I couldn't be Batman if I had someone to care about, to go home to. The villains I fight, I sometimes don't know if I'm coming home, and I can't do that if I have someone waiting for me. Or what if I decided to switch the tables? If we get together and they ki-"

He gets caught on the word:kill. I can see his eyes moisten, but nothing falls. He's rubbing his face to try and compose himself once more. I've never seen emotions so raw in him.

He clears his throat and continues. "If something happened to you and you… you died… you couldn't come back...That would send me over a line I could never come back from. But even that's just another excuse. I could throw a million excuses around. But they are all just a cover for the fact that I'm scared!"

He says it with such conviction. I know he hates being vulnerable, and even worse showing that vulnerability to others. But even in his shouting, it looks like he's found a measure of peace; like a weight he's been burdened with has been lifted off his chest.

When he comes back to speak, his voice is soft, truly exposing the fear he's admitted to.

"I'm scared to let you in and see me, the real me. I'm scared that if I show you who I am, that you'll turn in disgust and never look back. And I… I don't know if I can handle that. I don't want you see that no matter how terrifying and brooding I try to be, I'm just a scared little boy playing dress up. Afraid to love because he doesn't want to mess it up. Because he doesn't know how to handle it…how to give it."

He strides over to stand in front of me, his cape catching the wind behind him. He stands tall and looks me in the eye. His hands grip my shoulders.

"I love you Diana with every _fiber_ of my being. That will never change. No matter how many excuses I give, I will always love you."

I grab him by his uniform collar and pull in for a kiss. He's stunned at first but quickly falls into it. And we stay there. And for a moment, I forget I'm angry with him. For a moment everything is perfect. But then I come back to reality and realize it isn't. I break away, my feelings all over the place.

"What are you doing to me Bruce?!" I run my hands through my hair as I distance myself from him. My head is trying to process everything, but it just leaves me more confused, more angry.

"You deserved to know."

"But why now? You don't think I would've like to know a year ago? Two months ago? Last week? Last night? Why should it have to take me doing something dramatic for you to make a confession? Had I not said anything, would you have told me?"

I pause and watch him. Again, he's rendered speechless. I shake my head knowingly.

"I thought not. And nothing short of either of us lying on our deathbeds' would have been a good enough reason for you to do that.

"I know it's because your scared, but you don't think I'm scared too? Bruce, I love you so much it hurts. Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming about you. And that terrifies me. That I feel myself becoming dependent on you when I've been told most my life that even befriending a man is the worst thing that I could do. This is unexplored territory for me and it sends a shiver down my spine when I think about it. And sometimes I do just want to throw my feelings away and back out.

"But then I think about you, and I'm willing to sacrifice it all because, to me, your worth it. If I'm going to do this, I want to do it with you. But it takes both of us to make it work.

"Bruce, I don't want to leave, but I can't keep waiting around hoping for something that's never going to come. So, I need you to promise me. I need you to look me in the eye and tell me that even though you're scared that you won't run from this; won't run from me. Tell me I'm worth it to you."

His hand caresses my face. He looks me directly in the eye with those eyes that can see into my very soul. That small smile returns to his lips.

"Your the only thing I've ever wanted. And to hear you say that I'm the man that you've fallen for is an honor. You just don't know how long I've wanted to do this, to say 'Yes' to you."

I feel my heart's swelling as I take his hand in mine. The hope returns to my smile. And I believe that this might finally be it.

"But I can't do that, and I love you too much to lie to you."

His words hit me like a bullet. My legs go weak. I release his hand and step back. My eyes never leave his. I don't even try to hide the hurt. His smile fades once more.

He keeps going, avoiding my gaze. "I've been running so long, I don't know if I can stop. I know the way I am, and I don't want you hurt because of me. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did.

"You deserve so much better than me. But I promise I'll always be there for you."

He turns his eyes to me one last time before slipping his his cowl back on. He walks past me. But I won't take this. I grab him by his arm before he can step out.

"You didn't answer my question." I hear my voice quiver.

He turns his head back to me.

"Am I worth it?" I ask. I'm almost scared to hear his answer.

He stops in the door frame and turns his whole body to look me in the face.

"I can't think of anyone who is more worthy than you. No one deserves love and happiness more than you. You have always been worth it. But I'm not. And I don't want to give you the opportunity to waste time thinking I am."

My face scowls. My chest heaving up and down. I muster all the anger I can.

"Well I hope you find happiness Batman."

I can see even under the cowl that his face drops.

"You too."

His cape swishes as he walks out, a sadness in his stride. The door closes behind him. I stare at it, my anger subsided. I wish that he could see what I saw. That he is worth it too.

I sink down on my bed realizing it's empty again.

 **A/N: _Disclaimer:_ I LOVE THE WHOLE ASPECT OF BRUCE AND DIANA. So with that being said, I know this might not be what most BMWW followers are expecting (but I still wanna hear yall's thoughts), but I feel like this is realistic. Leave comments telling me if you agree or not.**


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